Finding Dennie

Caused by disobedience to God's commands, Jonah experienced the toughest moment of his life. Not wanting to follow God's command to go to Nineveh to preach His word, Jonah tries to avoid this command by going to another city and not to Nineveh. A huge storm arises and the sailors not realizing this is no ordinary storm, cast lots and learn that Jonah is to be blamed. Jonah admits this and states that if he is thrown off the boat the storm will cease. After being thrown overboard by the heathen sailormen, the sea calms. Jonah was miraculously saved by being swallowed by a large fish. While inside the fish's belly, Jonah prayed and God delivered him.

I was thinking if the huge fish was more of a punishment or God's grace in disguise, but honestly to me it was more of the latter. Jonah was inside that belly for days, hopeless, desperate and perhaps even suicidal -- i mean he may have developed two or more types of neuroses **thinking like Freud** in a very short span of time. Moreover, I could not possibly describe how pervasive the odour would have been inside that belly with all the algae, acid, and undigested organisms which I suppose passed through the fish's digestive tract in a not-so-peristaltic-like manner. Pardon my imagination, but Jonah would have been enough for a year long Ma ki for someone who craves for Japanese food **lolz**

In my introspection, I think that Jonah and I have something in common. My running away from God's commands has brought me nowhere; it made me think that my hapless journey will continue on until I give my last breath. However, thinking about Jonah's story, I suddenly realised that I'd rather be eaten by a big fish and experience darkness inside it than be engulfed by roaring waves. This is so because, inside that belly where there is complete darkness, no food to eat, and survival is almost nil there is only one thing I could possibly do and that is to pray and experience God's deliverance from my ordeal. God is letting me experience complete darkness today because he wants me to fully appreciate His provisions and His amazing grace. Now I remember, in one of my earlier blog entries I wrote there that my wish for this year was to experience my Jesus more than anything else in this world and if experiencing Him would mean darkness inside a fish's belly then I will stay there and wait for His salvation.

Now that I have reached rock bottom, the only thing that I can do is to look up and to look within. God's loving ways are so unpredictable, they may appear as big as the fish that swallowed Jonah but inside it deliverance is expected. In this lifetime, big fishes are out there to shelter me inside their tummies not to experience darkness nor death but to see more revelations about God's grace and His plans for me in the future.