As a little child, I never knew what life truly meant and how it should be lived -- for even at a young age I reckoned that life was not really fair. Afflicted with a blood disorder, I knew that I would not be able to chase my own star nor would I even take hold of my license to liberty for I would leave this world earlier than my friends…….. even way prematurely than my sisters.
But just like a well-written play or novel about one’s journey, the first milestone of my life began not when I first sucked my thumb nor struck my feet on the ground but when the Lord reached out His grace to my family and when He delivered me from a life-threatening disorder… And so off I went to my journey, yielding to the same spirit that drove the disciples to minister to the people who were afflicted with human strife, guilt, and eternal death. I became an Ambassador of Christ at such a very young age allowing myself to become a channel of His grace to those people who needed Him.
A couple of chapters of my life's journey went fairly well with my Jesus but as I grew older I saw the kingdoms of this world shining right before my innocent eyes and I loved them. So I decided to take that journey, kept my Bible in my pocket as I allowed myself get hypnotised by these earthly gems. Finally, I reached my destination. The kingdoms of this world welcomed me with a new spirit that I thought was way better and much clearer than what my Jesus had made me experience when I was younger. I slept at those kingdoms, ate with their inhabitants, chatted with them, lived with them, and became one of them. I started to become oblivious about my Jesus and tried to explore the science of my cognition and the physics of every single force and thing on this planet ----> then I started to question my Jesus and decided to keep Him not in my pocket but in a chest of insignificant and pseudo-treasures. This was when my real battle began.
I started to see the kingdoms falling apart, their mighty fortresses failed to defend them and people were crying left and right. I looked at the ground and realised that the majestic kingdoms I once adored had lost their grandeur for they were built on sinking sand. I wanted to cry for help but everyone was busy carrying and saving their worldly possessions and their self-inflicted crucifixes. Then suddenly, I realised my Jesus….. my friend whom I deliberately pushed away in my attempt to fathom everything and to explore the world outside the realm of His grace and glory. I was so weary, alone and helpless. I spent my life at those kingdoms and forgot about my Friend who was there all along watching me, patiently waiting for me to utter His wonderful name.
Then amidst the smoke hovering around the fallen kingdoms I saw His face, His smile, and His outstretched hand that were so eager to embrace me. At that point, I saw liberty, I saw hope, I saw comfort….. And suddenly He was gone again but I knew He was there. His men saw me and took me by the hand, brought me to a quiet place, and fed me. I was relieved and I felt home again. God used His men to save me from my brokenness. After years of my exodus, God delivered me and brought me back to His people --->> my fellow Christ Ambassadors. Now, I am once again eager to know my Jesus and rekindle the fire that I once had. Yes, I am weak and easy to falter but my God is mighty and His grace sustains my soul. Life is difficult but I am excited about His promises. I will never pass that road again for He has redeemed me and brought me back to the life that I once lost. I thank the Lord for my joy is immeasurable.
"But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on
wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk
and not be faint.” Isaiah 40:31
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