Countless Times - A Poem By Dennie

Countless Times
December 29, 2009
12:02pm
Shell Office, Makati City

Countless times, I have hurt you.
Countless times, I have nailed you on the Cross.
But Your mercy never fails
And your grace sustains me.

Will I ever fathom your steadfast love for me?
For every time I choose to follow my ways
Your Spirit chastises me
And Your goodness causes me to fall on bended knees.

Countless times, I have challenged your precepts,
But only to justify my humanness.
My mind may disprove Your existence
But my spirit truly desires Your fortress.

So today I set aside my earthly cognition
And embrace Your Spirit’s comprehension.
The works of Your Hands will forever amaze me
They will remind me of Your unfailing love.

Countless times, You have comforted me
Your Presence assures me of your providence.
Countless times, You removed the clouds above me
Your Glory illuminates my ignorance.

Let my tongue speak of Your faithfulness.
Let my life be the temple of Your goodness.
For in this lifetime, I shall see Your greatness
More than a countless time.

For Real - A POEM by Dennie

For Real - A POEM By DENNIE
06th November 2009
--Starbucks Megamall--


Years have gone by
Tears have dried up
Yet the thought of you
Remains painted in my head.

In this lifetime
I have never grasped the answers
To the questions
Behind your mystery.

Some say it’s foolish to look for you
Yet others find you.
Some think you’re too good to be true
Yet others experience you.

But from the shores of my heart
Your waves bring a message of hope
That somewhere beyond the yonder
Your face will soon unfold.

And so I let go of all my fears
Except the fear of losing you.
But should you hide your face from me
My future will become bleak.

I shall wait here to prove your existence
I shall see your wonders in the midnight sun.
And in the daybreak, my hands will reach for you
So come take me to your wonderland.

Spiritual Acuity

Spiritual Acuity
27th October 2009
Dennie’s Room

The acuity of one’s eyes is something that can be measured off the bat. It does not require any medical preparation other than a chart with letters of varying sizes to be read with only a single eye. I don’t have a 20/20 vision but all I can say is that my eyes are clear enough to see the things that are visually pleasant and not-so-pleasant, what is black and what is white, what needs to be fixed and the how-to-do’s of fixing it, and the list goes on and on. However, a normal visual acuity does not always lead us to an accurate way of analysing and interpreting things, as it is not very uncommon that we see a lot of optical illusions around us. If we always believe on what we see on the visual realm we might end up impairing our judgment.


Our perception is a result of a single unified awareness derived from sensory processes (sense of sight is one of them) while a stimulus is present. These communal conversations from the different senses are critical to how we respond to certain stimuli and if we get to see and experience the same stimulus over and over again our brain creates an automatic response to a single stimulus without analysing it (awesooomee, isn’t it?!!). It is so amazing how the brain, culture, and genes make up the human psyche - - however, I do not want to discount the fact that one’s spirituality greatly impacts the way we understand things and how we behave as individuals. Hey wait-a-sec, I am not here to promote the undying duel between Science and Religion because I believe that both these disciplines could be married given the right explanation (or I maybe wrong, cut the crap dennie!)


How many times have we been bamboozled by our perception just because our eyes were so hallucinatory? We judge things based on what we see but most of the time what we see is never quite what it seems, hence, an impaired judgment. The same is true in our Christian living, our spiritual eyes are so stringy about what they see on this earth and judge them so easily. This is simply because they think that those eyes are so capable of seeing things the same way God sees things. Just because we are not from this world does not mean that our eyes shall only see the things that are holy and any deviation from what is holy is an infection that needs to be isolated and worse is quarantined. The humanness of mankind may be very sinful, but it is through this very nature that the Son of God embraced humanity so that people would likewise embrace eternity with Him when our heavenly Father summons our spirits. It is, however, so frustrating that some Super Christians have a microscopic visual acuity that even a miniscule of dust could easily be magnified. They keep an eye out for their fellow Christians who will stumble and fall into sin and criticise their lifestyle; they then make a permanent perception about that person and the worse part is that they influence other Christians through this holy and perfect perception.


How many times have we heard Christians harshly commenting about their fellow Christians who are being rumored as an adulterer, a fornicator, a drug user, a homosexual, an alcoholic, a smoker, a party-goer, a feigner, a sexual addict, an immoral, etc etc. This is an ugly truth that we often see inside the church – an ecumenical paradox that even church leaders found themselves ensnared by. It all starts with some degrees of impairment in one’s spiritual acuity and if this is not corrected, it will result to a more debilitating effect on one’s (the person being judged) battles against addiction (and the others that the Bible considers as ungodly) and eventually loses his hope of being recovered from a bondage. I am not saying that Christians should have a sense of indifference on these things, in fact seeing and identifying a possible aberration in one’s Christian walk is just the first step of dealing the issue. The steps after that are as equally critical as the first one, as this would make or break a person’s faith in God. I said POSSIBLE aberration because some people think that their practices are right (perhaps culturally or according to one’s personal beliefs and preferences), others are simply clueless that their practices contradict the standards of God. The rule of thumb is that you do not spill out nor pass judgment against one person if you have identified a possible aberration. You pray for guidance so God can give you wisdom on the how-to-dos of rebuking a person, needless to say, this needs to be subtly done. You do not dictate to a person how he should become, how he should act, how he should go about his life, but you need to give him options, explain to him how you feel about this contradiction in relation to his Christian walk. The worse thing that you could ever do as a counselor or friend is to make that person feel condemned. Nobody is perfect and since every individual is unique, you can NEVER feel and understand how and why he/she does those things that you consider as ungodly. There are a lot of things that contribute to such behaviours and being so superlative about Christianity is not and will never be a powerful tool to make a person feel that we have a loving and gracious God (another paradox, huh!). Don’t get me wrong with what I said so please allow me to explain this deeper…. Although most if not all Christians know that we are still prone to committing errors (at least that’s what we tell to our brethren), some of us STILL find it so hard to accept that these spiritual glitches are possible. These Christians are being rumored, ridiculed, persecuted (oh yes…… by their fellow Christians!!!!) and condemned. Wheeeew!!! Some people!!!!! Christianity does not equate to perfection, it is a continuous battle between human affliction, shortcomings and God’s amazing grace.
I know some of you are raising your eyebrows or perhaps even way too itchy to respond to this ideology, some of you might even ask who my Small Group leader is but this I tell you “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone!” The next time your spiritual acuity tells you that something is wrong about a person’s life, practices, etc. ask yourself these questions “What kind of person are you when nobody is looking? Is your spiritual body bleeding because of the chains you have been secretly nurturing? Will your words destroy a person? Is your mind filled with filthy thoughts? Are you equipped with the tools you need to be able to subtly rebuke a person? If you claim to be a Christian, then perhaps judging a person straight off the bat should never be your expertise. Pray for wisdom. Speak words of enlightenment and not confusion. Be a friend, and above all be fair!

A Road To Seven

A Road to Seven
September 9, 2009
01:02pm
Coffee Bean - Megamall

I find it so comical when adults look for (beauty) perfection in seven days when what is circulating around their Somas are nothing but wasted cells, impaired nuclei and free radicals. All these are by-products of years of desecration to one’s body or perhaps even due to the famous wear-and-tear principle, but in any case perfection or near-perfection can not and will never be attained in just seven days unless if you are God. If it were true, then you would probably see me painting myself with these enchanting creams, Lolz.

The world’s view on beauty is somewhat universal (usually based on superficiality), in fact according to other theorists there are mathematical equations that could be used to determine a certain ratio for beauty and imperfection regardless of race and other demographics. Leonardo Da Vinci’s drawings of the human anatomy, for instance, also empasised the relationship of beauty and symmetry. Hence, anything that does not fall under these so-called “Objective” evaluations for beauty is considered an appalling mistake of God’s creation…. Ouccch!! Guess that’s a beastly description of being unattractive (Now you know how much I despise Brad Pitt, nyahahahaaha - - Kidding!)


Regardless of how many equations there are in measuring beauty, I will never allow myself get fooled with any of these for I know that my Creator has patterned me into His likeness. I was beautifully and wonderfully made by the One who created the universe and so why bother. Beauty, according to the common adage, is in the eyes of the beholder but knowing whose eyes we consider as a benchmark for this saying is more important than staying attractive all the time just to please everybody - - - although, I can do that effortlessly, nyahahaha!! (Pardon my narcissism, I know I need a Shrink!!!) You see, the “beauty” of things goes through stages; an alchemist knows that a certain insignificant element could be transmuted to something precious like gold or silver, but still it has to go through fire to remove all the impurities before it becomes an exquisite stone desired by all. The butterflies that we adore went through ugly metamorphoses; a baby goes out from a woman’s womb wrapped in blood and full of mess; and a flower begins with a single insignificant bud before it blossoms and expose its glory, you see the point is that nothing in this world begins with something pleasant and adorable. We need to go through a complete mess before we can truly appreciate who we are and whose we are.


People always have this burden to make things beautiful beyond their might. We have embraced the fact that humans are extremely intelligent that we can figure things out ourselves and resolve every conflict, every struggle, every painful memory, and every confusion just to make our lives beautiful according to our own standards, that is the world’s standards for beauty. However, I am not saying that we should not use our God-given intelligence and just accept things as they come; my point is that the circumstances in our lives can NEVER be beautiful enough and attaining perfection is insanity. God has blessed mankind with wisdom to make our lives beautiful in His sight and I reckon that it requires faith and patience to actually see that transpiring before our eyes and the eyes of the people who see us. However, there are things that look so sour on the natural despite one’s steadfast faith to God and they seem so unbearable. This is the metamorphosis of our Christian living; often times we need to experience a complete mess before we can truly see the glory and the power of God lifting us up from an IMPOSSIBLE SITUATION.

What happens when we lack faith, obedience and patience and do things our way? We look for other avenues and embellish our lives with worldly accomplishments such as accolades from our peers, a nice job that nourishes our wallets, tons of academic certificates and degrees, and so on and so forth. These are all worldly attempts to make our lives beautiful before the eyes of this world. Remember that the world’s standards are not God’s standards for we can never understand His ways and the vastness of His knowledge is immeasurable. Often times, God is directing us towards His will but when we see the arid wilderness ahead of us we ask God, “Lord, is there any another way?” We do not see what God has prepared for us at the end of our journey, but one thing is certain, God is preparing a golden mansion for each of His children, a kind that is incomparable to the wealth of this world. We should not settle for the kind of beauty that this world promises us to give, but let’s anchor our faith on God’s promises while we go through our ugly metamorphoses until we finally meet Him face to face. I am not rallying against self-improvement as God also wants me take care of myself and improve the condition of my life. All I am saying is that we need to put God into our equations and not to do it our way and present our accomplishments to Him as if we were much omnipotent than Him.


God has His own timeframe before He lets us see the beauty behind our obedience and patience. Rest assured though that He will make things beautiful in His own time. Your life may be passing through an ugly phase and you are so tired of waiting for it to finally see its breakthrough, what you should unceasingly do is to pray that God will sustain your strength as you wait for His plans to uncover. Giving up on our faith by proving to ourselves and the people around us that we can do it without God is a world’s strategy to achieve perfection. Later on you will see that you merely settled for a hut compared to what God has desired for you to have. Beauty creams and SPFs can never adorn our lives, real beauty is hidden in a bud or in a cocoon waiting to be laid bare according to God’s perfect time.


“He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.” Ecclesiastes 3:11 (NIV)

Where Have You Been?

Understanding Human Adversities


Congenital Abnormalities are usually caused by some genetic aberrations that are somehow unpredictable and at a certain degree even inevitable. Although there have been medical journals explaining why such anomalies occur during conception, these scientific endeavors have fallen short of satisfying the ultimate question of WHO OR WHAT CONTROLS THE BEHAVIOUR OF THE HUMAN GENOME. As a result of this gap, mankind has learned to embrace these challenges by inventing medicines and/or prescribing prosthetic devices to help the individual carry on with his daily activities.

The goal is to become functional while attempting to sustain one’s longevity on this planet. I, for one have this congenital blood condition called Beta Thalassemia, what it is and how it affects me is something you need to research on - - - c’mon we have Google for free just make sure your spelling is correct **Lolz** - - -. I have lived with this disorder since I was born but this does not in any way affect my work nor my relationship with people, but for those who have severe and chronic physiological anomalies they would probably wish for “premature death” (for a lack of a better word) than to suffer with such abnormalities. I am not here to discuss how Genetic Engineering could detect and correct a possible aberration, as I have no desire of winning a Nobel Prize to bring pride for my lineage, lolz. This is simply to share with you how God wants us to respond on things that are hard to explain or for those that even Sciences could not fathom.

In this lifetime, there are never-ending questions we face in our unguarded moments. We ask why bad things happen to good people, why marriages fail, why prayers don’t get answered, why men of God experience persecution and misery, why some children suffer the consequences of their parents’ failures, why others are blessed and you are not, and the list goes on and on. A lot of people have died without ever understanding why they struggled despite consistent prayers and devotion to the One they have always considered as Almighty and All-Powerful God. In this lifetime, I have somehow learned to acknowledge the frustrations of Christians when God is silent amidst turmoil; we obviously want a response from God after pouring out our emotions unto Him but what we get most of the time is a deafening silence.

Where is God? Is He for real? Does He see my afflictions? Does He understand human strife?

Although these questions are valid considering that every person is facing adversities left and right, it is not our responsibility to understand God’s prerogatives but for us to become more dependent on Him in our weaknesses and brokenness. Remember that His thoughts are higher than our thoughts and His ways are totally different than ours. Just because God is silent doesn’t mean that He’s not there. It is through adversities that God is making His power and faithfulness become so apparent. God is always in the process of engineering circumstances through which He can reveal His true face to each of us. How we respond to these adversities is far better than understanding the WHYs of life. If we are deeply rooted to God’s word then no matter how strong the winds are they can only make you sway but they can never uproot you.

The story of Lazarus in the Bible strongly depicts God’s power and faithfulness during adversities. Lazarus’ sisters (Martha and Mary) were praying so hard to God for Jesus to come by their place and heal their brother Lazarus who also happened to be Jesus’ friend.

In our lives today, how many times have we prayed like that every time we are helpless, how many times have we acknowledged that it is through God that our struggles could be vanquished perhaps all the time but the sisters’ prayers were left unanswered and Jesus was silent and He was nowhere to be found. Although Jesus had heard of His friend’s health condition, still He was not there physically to deliver Lazarus from this affliction and so he died. Just imagine how much pain Lazarus’ sisters must have felt at that time, they probably even thought why God allowed Lazarus to succumb to this earthly demise considering that he was a faithful friend to Jesus.

In the story, Jesus knew everything that was happening and this was also the time when Jesus wept on His way to Lazarus’ place. Remember, just because we do not feel God’s presence doesn’t mean that He cares less for us and that his indifference will only lead us to an inevitable despair. The Bible says Jesus wept, all along He knew everything even if He wasn’t there physically.

God sees your brokenness, God feels your hurt, He weeps over our sorrows as well, God may be delaying everything because there is something magical that He’s going to perform for you and the people around you. It is our response to adversities that God wants to see. When Jesus finally came to Lazarus’ place, he had been buried in the tomb for 4 days. The sisters showed one thing that they were still 100% human to their very cores, they told Jesus “Had you been here earlier, our brother Lazarus would have been healed.”

Again, how many times have we said this to God? Perhaps every single day, perhaps you have already started doubting God’s existence long before you even asked that kind of question. But you see, in the eyes of men Jesus was late and Lazarus had already died and there was nothing else to do. God sometimes does this kind of strategy because He is about to accomplish a miracle, something that will all the more prove His power and great love to those who put their trust in Him no matter how mankind defines the statement “It’s Over!” God’s ways are unfathomable, whatever He is in the process of accomplishing through our sufferings and brokenness will always be for our best interest.

Going back to the story, Jesus asked Martha to remove the stone, which covered Lazarus’ tomb, but she was quite hesitant to do it because the body had been buried for 4 days, but Jesus told her “If you believe, you will see the glory of God.” Had she refused to do what God wanted her to do, Martha would have missed one of God’s greatest miracles. Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead! God’s ways are not our ways! His thoughts are unfathomable! He is an amazing God!

Friends, God’s silence in times of our adversities and great despair is not indicative of His involvement in our lives. He is working in every aspect of our lives even if our prayers don’t get answered in a fashion that we want Him to do. Let Him do His ways not ours and as we wait for His glory to show up before our very eyes, our response is to always put our hopes in Him knowing that He has our best interest at heart. He is building up a character in you while you’re facing that tragedy, a kind of character that will elevate your faith to the next level. As you persevere in finishing your race, God’s promise is a life of contentment and an immeasurable joy regardless of your condition. God Bless you my dear friends!




“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” James 1:2-4

Abstraction - A Poem of Love

Abstraction
21st March 2009
by: Dennie Comia


Never have I grasped
The mystery of the heart.
Never have I desired
being pulled up from this mire.
For my heart welcomes nothing
Other than the pain that is self-inflicting.

And just like a river
Anticipating its endless journey,
My heart’s odyssey has never seen favour.
For being one with the sea
Is merely an illusion
I don’t want to conceive.

But on that ordinary day
She came and made my heart wonder,
Why love suddenly refutes this unbelief
About things embellished by one’s fantasies.
So now I’m starting to have a glimpse
Of this myth I have never dared to kiss.

Should I embrace this myth
Or should I dismiss it?
My mind will never trust myself
For fear has taught my heart
To doubt love that can’t be sustained
By a heart that has been harshly wasted.
penned by: dennie

Inside The Lion's Den - A Poem

Inside The Lion’s Den – A Poem
19th March 2009
--denniecomia.multiply.com--

Looking up from this den,
The crescent light disappears
Now I am clothed with fear
For my future looks dim.

I do not want to stay here
And think that my end is near
For the beast can smell my fear
So Lord, come rescue me here.

As I wait for my demise
Speak to me this time
Or my strength will soon vanish
And into oblivion I shall perish.

The darkness covers my vision
As my senses shout for Your salvation.
Consume me with Your fire, my Saviour
And never keep me away from your favour.

Torn and wounded,
I cry unto You
Lord, burn this lair
But forget not my prayer.

With my remaining strength
I will seek for Your light
Blot out my depression
And sustain me in this flight.

--dennie comia--

At The Battle's Forefront - A Poem

How much longer will I wait
Until I see Your face?
How many battles must I win
Until I see your glory?
The blood stains in my chest are forever before me
But Your eyes seem indifferent towards me.

At the onset of this war
You said Your weapons would sustain me
But with my body’s frailty
The enemy has besieged my territory.
So with my remaining strength I go to you,
Refresh me, Oh Lord or I will lose this battle.

Distraught by the smoke
That this war has caused me.
I am succumbing to my defeat
Without any pride nor wit.
And with my remaining breath I say unto You,
“Why, O Lord, have You abandoned me?”

Chivalry has left me with a weak heartbeat
But even with this unexpected retreat
I will yield to Your Sovereignty
Knowing that You will empower me
To raise a flag of victory
Amid the ruins of my maladies.

So whether I am wounded or not
I will stand tall
For I know at the end
You will always cause me to triumph.
Therefore, I shall not fear death
For death does not exist.

- dennie comia -

Who Says You're Naked?!

I have always wondered why artists love to paint naked human subjects on their naked canvases. There must be something in the human body that they probably consider as mythical or even Harry-Potterish, but since I am not an artist, --- y’see, I can’t even draw a house, for Pete’s sake!!--- I will never get to appreciate the right geometry of the human anatomy. All I know is that it’s quite humiliating to be naked before a bunch of people holding different theories in their open minds, more so if they’re paying too much attention on the concavities and convexities of your asymmetrical body. If I were to flaunt my physical glory before a crowd --- ok, ok, I know this is more of a desperate dream, nyahahahaha!! --- guess which part of my body I will cover? …. Of course my face!! They can see the whole of me but not gossip about it because they wouldn’t know who the subject is, unless of course they’re too intrigued about what they’re seeing --- hiryago again dennie! This is already too much of a coping mechanism, have you taken your tranquilizers yet!! Hahaha --- that revealing my face will ultimately feed their brains’ satiety centres. Well, of course you know I’m just babbling and this is all non-sense, hahahaha. Kidding aside, mankind’s evolutionary development made us realise that nakedness is a humiliation, a taboo, and even a manifestation of some neurological imbalances, but what does being naked truly mean in the eyes of God? Is it a sin to be symbolically naked before God? These things I will humbly endevour to explore to make us realise how beautiful we are in God’s eyes.

The book of Genesis tells us about the Fall of Man, this was after Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit. When God was looking for Adam in the cool of the day, he answered, “I heard You in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked. So I Hid.” Then God replied, “Who told you that you were naked?”… There are two things that I wish to emphasise on both of their responses; first Adam saw his nakedness, he saw the obvious, he saw the limitations whereas God saw the glory of His creation through Adam, and that he was not naked. You see, we are like Adam who thinks that what we see in ourselves is what we really are. I believe that in this life, we need to think mythically…. Oh yes, you read it right, we need to go by the myths of life, these are stories or teachings with or without determinable basis of a fact or a natural explanation BUT need to be construed on a different angle. Most of the time what we see is never quite what they seem, which explains why it takes wisdom to understand the intricacies or myths of life. Some people feel that they are worthless because they are poor and that their lives are not at par with their contemporaries. They dislike themselves for not being able to vanquish their battles, for not being smart, for being unattractive, for being in chains of some habitual sins and bondages, for failing their parents’ expectations, for not being able to perform well with their jobs, for being so obstinate about their principles just to hide their inequities, and the list goes on and on. These things are obvious and can be seen or experienced by one’s self with his/her day-to-day living. These may all be true and agreeably would affect one’s perception about him-/herself, but if you think mythically, what you see is never quite what they seem. We are the children of the Most High God, we were patterned into His likeness and that alone should guarantee us that His favour would always be upon us no matter how bad we’ve become or how bad the circumstances are around us. Where you are now does not determine your future, you may suffer some of the consequences of your wrong decisions but that does not mean that God’s only plan for you is to suffer. Your CHARACTER is the one thing that matters to God, He is not concerned of what you have become but more of WHO YOU ARE and WHOSE YOU ARE. I always say this to my small group at our church; God will not change the circumstances around you because He wants you to have a character, a kind that will truly reflect His identity through you, through us. Just because you have none does not mean you’re naked! God looks at us differently for our identity belongs to Him. We are His children. We were beautifully and wonderfully made by God. We are the apple of His eyes. We are highly favoured. We are loved. Nothing in this world can EVER take us away from God’s love, not even sin, not even our brokenness, not even our bondages. Amazing love!

The next time you feel that you have nothing and worthless, think again. God does not see your limitations; He looks at your heart and your true identity, which of course belongs to Him. You are never an accident in this world for God has purposefully created you to do great things for Him and for yourself. Let’s all be passionate about living, after all we only have one life to live.

In This Desert

You alone are the witness of my failures.
You alone know the weight of this chaos.
The troubles of this world have overcome me
With no soul to comfort me
For I am alone
Here in this desert

So I tried to seek you
But you seemed distant to me.
I tried to feel you
But you seemed cold to me.
When, Oh Lord, will you rescue me
Here in this desert.

In the coldness of this arid land
I curled up to keep myself warm.
And with a little hope lingering in my head
I thought of Your Cross and Your victory over death.
So I knew Your power could save me
Here in this desert.

So with my body failing
I cry out to you again.
Saying, “Lord, have compassion on me
For my wounds are ever upon me
And my chains, they have subdued me
Here in this Desert.

My Lord, I may not understand your plans
For Your thoughts are unfathomable.
All I know is that amidst these troubles
Your favor will surround me.
Your oasis will satisfy me
Here in this desert.

- dennie comia -

Living By The Dash

Most people dread the day they will face death but I reckon there is nothing to fear about dying if you really never existed. How can you end something that has not yet begun in the first place? Or should I ask, what could someone do to bring life to a living dead person? These are the things that every sapien silently asks to himself in his moments of introspection. Some people in this dreary old world only exist for one thing and that is to be happy, they search for places, people, and even practices which can ultimately bring forth reason for their existence. Some of us, on the other hand, only exist to gain earthly treasures just to find out that life is too short to actually gain everything. Death is inevitable and we all know that, God never designed us to be like worms, which can regenerate if one of its segments is cut off. We only have one life to live here on earth and we need to make every moment count. In a psychological perspective though (pardon my rusty explanation as I have been out of post-graduate school for quite a while now, geeeez!!), people live through a lot of developmental stages --- social, cognitive, physical and even behavioural. For some personality theorists (hmmm, I’m tryin’ to be one!), a couple of these stages should be strictly followed otherwise the person can not move to the next level of development, hence, the word fixation. Certain behavioural patterns will exhibit if these stages are not fully reached across the lifespan and this is one of the many ways that some psychologists (like me, ahem ahem!!) look at in understanding how a person behaves and lives his life. Moreover, one’s life is molded by a lot of factors both intrinsically (biological and behavioural) and extrinsically (socio-cultural) depending on how much impact these factors have in the person. Ultimately, every person’s goal is to achieve a genuine sense of individuality; an identity that sets him/her apart from other people. How one gets to the individuation stage is something that will determine how a person will live his/her life. For some doctrines of religion, this stage could be comparatively described as the Nirvana of life. But hey, I am a Christian! So please allow me to express my humble thoughts about living a life designed by the Creator of the heavens and the earth.

Looking at the epitaphs of people buried in the cemeteries, you will see one common description about the person ---- the day of birth and the day the person experienced rigor mortis (as my Anatomy teacher would word it - - now I’m missing our class’ cadaver, her name was “Skelly” short for skeleton, Lolz!), but which is really important between the two? I guess nobody will really care unless if you’re into numerology or other New Age practices. To me, it’s the LITTLE DASH between the dates that truly matters. That short tiny dash represents a lot of things, it makes you wonder, how much this person mazimised his life on earth. How many struggles did he experience, how many battles he fought, what were his dreams, how many times did he laugh, how many litres of tears did he shed, and above all how did he live his life? That short DASH means a lot to God and He makes a long account of one’s life through it. I mentioned earlier that life is too short but God is so gracious to give us so many chances to fathom its meaning, to enjoy it and have it to the FULL! People today live for nothing because their principles are so twisted, thinking that the only way to live one’s life is to enjoy it, do good works (we can not be saved in doing good works but only through God’s grace), and earn more money. They have purposefully removed love, victory, faith, eternity, and God out of the equation because these things are too intricate to measure and understand. To God, our life is just but a handbreadth and if we spend our time living up for earthly principles of happiness we will die feeling discontented because we will always have something to long for even in our death bed. The journey of life commences when we begin to realise that we are dead to sin and that no matter how much effort we do to put meaning into our being these things will only fall short from experiencing God’s victory over human strife. No matter how rich and fulfilled you are in the eyes of the people, God knows what’s happening on the inside - - a life of guilt, depression, addiction, deception, animosity and discontent. These things will bury us in a bottomless pit where life is nil. A person may also be intelligent and does not need to believe on something that he does not see, but God will choose the foolish things of this world to shame the wise and this person will stand before God and He won’t acknowledge him for he chose to live his life according to how he designed it minus the will of the One who created him. As a Christian, we need to understand that we died with Jesus on the cross but since death could not hold Him down, He rose from the dead and now we live in Him and we are alive. We can never have a perfect life because we are not perfect, God knows that we can never be good enough for Him but because He is so gracious He makes us feel that no matter how many times we disappoint He remains faithful and still gives us His favor in everything we do.

A life of obedience means a life of abundance; this means that no matter how few the fishes and loaves are in your basket as long as you obey, God can multiply them to feed thousands of people who will soon be blessed because of your obedience to God. If God is telling us to do things now, then we shouldn’t be putting them off because we might not be able to do them in the future. A dirty pan if left unwashed for several days will become so difficult to wash, the same thing with our relationships. If God is asking you to heal that relationship with someone (mom, dad, friends, boss, etc.) but you keep on putting it off, our hearts will soon become calloused and we might not be able to re-build those broken relationships in the future. Life is too short to be spent with hatred, unforgiveness, and guilt. Night after night you go to your beds feeling frustrated about your broken relationships, but God can free you from those bondages if you only choose to obey and not procrastinate. What are you putting off today? Tomorrow might not come and you might suffer the consequences of disobedience. A disobedient life will only force God to disown you before His Holy Father.

Living a life with Christ is a decision that we need to nurture whether things go against our way or our way. Remember, that the true test of living a God-designed life is reflected on how we respond to struggles. In my quiet times with God, I ask Him a lot of questions about what’s been happening in my life, why He’s hiding His face from me, why He’s forsaken me in my wilderness, why He’s not answering my prayers but since I made a decision to live my life in Christ then I must accept His will even if I don’t understand it. I don’t want to rebel against God just because He’s not answering my needs; I know that I have only one life to live and I don’t want to spend it trying to figure out God’s perfect plan for me. For I know that everything works together for good to those who love God… Let’s all make every moment count, after all we only have one life to live!!

“Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain
a heart of wisdom.”
Psalms 90:12

Staying In My Wilderness - A Prayer

“Lord, I am tired, broken, empty-handed, and helpless. I know that you have delivered me from my old wilderness and endevoured to bring me to a land of comfort and victory but this Fertile Crescent was and has never been real to me, or perhaps I am just too blind to see it over yonder. Under this scorching heat of the sun, I am gradually losing my spirit’s sanity; seated on the sand of this cornerless desert, Lord, I just want to hide my face, my skin, my everything underneath these clothes but the intensity of the heat penetrates through my body and I am slowly deteriorating. Father, you know that I can never be good enough for you and all my attempts to become closer to you seem to fall short from your expectations. I feel so embarrassed before a throng of unscrupulous vultures who are watching my every move and so I thought that perhaps to them I am already a dead body ready to be eaten. God, why are you hiding your face again from me, it seems that no matter how many times I stand up and call your name I still don’t get your strength. Please don’t forsake me here in my wilderness, for You know how pure my heart is and how much I desire to please You, but sometimes I let things happen against Your will and every time I do this my strength to overcome goes out of me and then questions on identity set in.”

“Jesus, I pray for Your joy and strength to fill the emptiness of my soul. I want to see the cross and the holes in the palms of Your Hands to make me remember how much you love me. Embrace me tonight. Remove the clouds from the sky so I can see the moon and the stars. God, if it takes forever for me to learn Your ways then I am willing to stay in my wilderness no matter how long it takes. I love you, Jesus…. wherever you are. Amen.”

From Bethlehem's Manger To Calvary's Cross

I have finally found the star in Bethlehem directing me to a place that everybody is looking for. Some people may have followed different stars in their journey and ended up finding earthly treasures placed in golden chests, which gave temporary elation to their very soul. However, as for me the star which I chose to follow, led me to the manger where a newborn Baby was lying so comfortably with nothing but a club of animals rejoicing with this glorious sight.

In my last year’s blog entry (Bethlehem’s Star and the Lost King – December 2007), I wrote there that my only wish for 2008 was to experience my Jesus like I had never experienced Him before. True enough, my journey’s highlight for this year was when I met my Jesus AGAIN in a very unexpected place - - - THE MANGER. From afar, the star was shining so brightly down to that manger, it was dark outside yet THAT STAR gave me so much hope amidst the vastness of that strange place. You see, I was a traveler, a lost king whose sovereignty only extended within the realms of my cognition and personal space. I was nothing, my identity then belonged to nobody, and I was just an inhabitant of this dreary world who never got to appreciate the best of everything. Looking at that bright star, my anxieties of not finding something at the end of my journey (while other people had already found their earthly treasures) was very apparent. The darkness instilled so much fear in me thinking that any moment a starving predator could come up before me and gang up on me for a gastronomical feast. This fear did not last for the star gave me direction towards a sure place somewhere in the dark. It was very strange that despite the darkness and uncertainties around that deserted place, peace was strongly felt. Unlike the evolution of fear, mankind during the prehistoric years was afraid of the dark because they were the popular preys of creatures lurking around unfamiliar places. What I experienced though was pure peace amidst that darkness. Jesus was born not during a sunny day but He was introduced to this world where darkness was all around the sky. This awesome truth speaks of God’s AMAZING GRACE that He came to give us hope in this weary world. The manger speaks of emptiness, poverty, grief, and failed accomplishments but Baby Jesus on that night gave real light and freedom from these bondages. I was a witness of His birth, His self-sufficient light, and His comforting and glorious presence. I experienced Him. I saw His face. I stayed in that manger for a long time to recuperate from my brokenness and despair. All my life as a traveler, I never understood the purpose of my journey for everything I saw and experienced was temporary. Nothing could give me meaning until that night in Bethlehem. Baby Jesus’ giggles, every time I look at His face, gave me an assurance that despite the dirt on my face He appreciates me. His presence made me realise that my purpose in life is to tell everyone about my encounter with Him so that they, too, can experience REAL JOY that only comes from Him. I may have not found the earthly treasures just like what others found in their journeys, but my true treasures are with Jesus and I know that right at this very moment He is preparing a place for me in Heaven. When the time comes that I will meet Him face to face, He will show me my real treasures in the place He has prepared for me.

Just before my attempt to carry Baby Jesus, the noise on this earth has awakened me. Everything was just a dream, but I knew that I was transported to Bethlehem to rekindle the faith that I once had before I got enticed by this glittering world. I woke up with an unexplainable joy and peace in my heart and reckoned that I was really there in Bethlehem. If only the people of this planet could fathom God’s love then we can all experience how it is to be saved by His grace. It is just too sad to look at this world filled with emptiness and greed; God gave His son Jesus to give light and purpose to each of us but mankind has resorted to their own wicked ways and because of this Jesus’ death on the cross was inevitable. From Bethlehem’s manger, we all have crucified Christ in Calvary. He could have opted not to be crucified, Jesus could have used His powers not to suffer from the hands of the people He created but because of His pure love He thought of YOU and ME in every step He made towards death. Every time I look at the cross, I see His love and His amazing grace. What about you? Are you still crucifying Him with how you’ve been living your life?

I was a witness of His birth and His light yet I crucified Him. Every blood that dropped from His broken body reminds me of how precious my life was/is to Him that He took the place for me and He thought of me above all things. From Bethlehem’s Manger to Calvary’s Cross, both places signify my salvation and freedom, I pray that all of you who’s reading this blog entry will have a new perspective of who Jesus is in your life. Merry Christmas to all of you!

Are You God's Pituitary

Fascinated with how brain works, I have always dreamt of acquiring a PhD on either Behavioural Genetics or Neuropsychology but you see the demands of work and time constraints have never failed to paralyse this dream. Oh, and not to mention financial limitation which all the more disrupts my cerebral homeostasis (anyone willing to raise a fund for me? Nyahahaha!!). However, this does not in any way stop me from being astonished by this part of the human anatomy. For it is in this dream that God is making me realise how limited our neuronal cells are despite their vast number. So I guess you would give me this liberty to displace my frustrations of becoming a Neuropsychologist by this “uber” pretentious journal, nyahahaha!

Even at a very young age I knew I was very competitive, always wanting to be the first in the class ---- **clears throat** only because I was always first in the line during flag ceremonies, class pictures and all those VERY discriminating activities that would require the class to fall in line. Ok, Ok I was….. or should I say I am a midget! **eyeballs rolling - right foot tapping** . You see, I grew up to be the 3rd shortest (I had always been one of the runners-up) among our class, which is why I despised my genes. It’s as if when God poured out His perfect genetic design for my clan, my mouth and my legs were widely open to embrace the dominant trait of dwarfism. Here’s the thing, one can never change a genetic composition, it’s the blueprint of our humanity. Genes are predefined so we can’t alter them just as we Christians are predestined by God according to His will (Eph 1:11). So I am now forced to love my height and be happy about it, awwww! Physiologically speaking, our brain still contributes growth during our childhood years until one reaches early adulthood. Consequently, I was a bit pacified by that fact and was compelled to believe that I could still grow a couple of inches more (I was only 4’11 during my elementary and early high school years --- is there a prize for being too honest?! nuni-nuni-nu) post my childhood years (by the way I’m now 5’8…. Oh c’mon Dennie I thought you’ve been released from your bondages?! ---- Ok, Ok I’m only 5’6 **sighs heavily**). I remember during my Biology class back in high school, there was one gland in our body that spiked my attention - - - the PITUITARY GLAND. You know why, because until now I have never stopped admiring this vital gland in our body situated at the bottom of the hypothalamus at the base of the brain only because it’s just about a size of a PEA….. Yup, you read it right, it’s as tiny as a pea yet is a very crucial gland. What perplexes me even more is that this pea-sized gland is necessary for GROWTH!!! weird – huh!! Yes, folks, this gland produces all of our growth hormones including Somatotropin, which is one of the most active growth hormones during our growing years. This paradoxical truth in human physiology can strongly be related to how God values us as individuals regardless of our limitations. No matter how tiny and insignificant our lives may seem, God will use us if we live our lives according to His purpose. Despite the pituitary gland’s minute structure, inside it are overflowing hormones that promote growth, and not to mention its role in controlling the functions of almost all other endocrine glands in the body. In the same way, God looks at what is inside of us and not our stature, profession, skills nor our influences. We can all be like the psalmist David, who despite his stature God saw the purity in his spirit and became one of the most influential Bible characters that we’ve ever known. My heart is overflowing with joy because I know that day by day God is increasing my faith, I used my miserable past to compare what it is like to be truly intoxicated by His love and grace. Yes, I am an insignificant person to some people but in the deepest recesses of my hypothalamus, I know that God’s purpose for me is to become great and He will gradually increase my territory. I want to be His Pituitary that despite my limitations in the natural I will be supernaturally lifted up way beyond ALL impossibilities….

So I encourage everyone to see yourselves the way God sees you. Let’s not stagnate our growth only because of natural limitations for God looks at the heart and our desire to be used by Him. I speak of growth to everyone who reads this journal for God will use you as His pituitary.

“Until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the
Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of
Christ. Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves
and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and
craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in
love, we will in all things grow up into Him who is the Head, that is, Christ"
Ephesians 4:13-15

The Science Of Christian Faith

Pardon for being “geeky” today, but allow me to freeze your mind as you flaccidly subject yourselves to a scientific journey towards the universe…. 1……..2………3…….. Troposphere…… Stratosphere…… you are now on top of the Ozone…… a little higher and you are just above Mesosphere and Ionosphere…. Then Voila! You see everything hovering up in the air and as you look down the Earth it looks just as big as the palms of your hand…. At this point you are starting to realise that God is soooo powerful… holding the entire universe by His own hands… But hey, wait-a-sec, don’t cry just as yet (freeze up your tears, will you?!) for our journey doesn’t end here, I still want you to see the Earth’s position around the mighty Sun………. this is my journal for this week.

Just imagine that our shuttle is situated a million miles away from the Earth and the Sun, from our point you’ll see that the Earth is relatively near the Sun as it revolves around an eccentric and stationary orbit. It is through this orbit that determines the Earth’s proximity to the mighty Sun, this also explains why we sometimes have longer nights and shorter days. APHELION, as I remember it, is the point in the orbit where the earth is furthest to the Sun that is why we have longer nights and PERIHELION is …. You guessed it right! The opposite (earth is closest to the Sun). Regardless of the earth’s spatial disposition, the mighty Sun remains STEADFAST to live up to it’s purpose ……. TO BE THE CENTRE OF THE UNIVERSE AND TO GIVE LIGHT TO THE HEAVENLY BODIES. The planets are free to move around the stationary Sun without disrupting its astronomical Sun-ness (for a lack of a better word) because the Sun was created to be self sufficient.

In the same way, in our running away from God, darkness will lure our own planet and the Sun (Jesus) becomes invisible. The longer the darkness stays the longer we desire for warmth. Too many times we tried to hide from God but we always failed because even in our darkest nights He still gives us the moon and the stars to shine our paths. I don’t know what or who your moon and stars are but one thing is certain, despite our wandering away from God, He knows that we can never be sufficient but He will allow us to see His grace shining so brightly above our dark skies. Just as the planets are free to move around a very stable and mighty Sun, our free will sometimes pulls us away from our source of light. However, God is too omniscient to know that even if we escape from His Lordship the universe will conspire to bring us closer and closer to Him who has been there all along like that mighty Sun.

It has been a long evening for me, but the moon and the stars have made me realise how God can STILL make wonders even during my darkest nights. Far or near from the centre, I know that God remains steadfast and His grace will pull me back to His warmth and light………. Jesus is the light of this world and just as long as I am with Him I can do anything and I can be anywhere I want to be.

"When Jesus spoke again to the people, He said, “ I am the light of the
world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light
of life." John 8:12