“Lord, I am tired, broken, empty-handed, and helpless. I know that you have delivered me from my old wilderness and endevoured to bring me to a land of comfort and victory but this Fertile Crescent was and has never been real to me, or perhaps I am just too blind to see it over yonder. Under this scorching heat of the sun, I am gradually losing my spirit’s sanity; seated on the sand of this cornerless desert, Lord, I just want to hide my face, my skin, my everything underneath these clothes but the intensity of the heat penetrates through my body and I am slowly deteriorating. Father, you know that I can never be good enough for you and all my attempts to become closer to you seem to fall short from your expectations. I feel so embarrassed before a throng of unscrupulous vultures who are watching my every move and so I thought that perhaps to them I am already a dead body ready to be eaten. God, why are you hiding your face again from me, it seems that no matter how many times I stand up and call your name I still don’t get your strength. Please don’t forsake me here in my wilderness, for You know how pure my heart is and how much I desire to please You, but sometimes I let things happen against Your will and every time I do this my strength to overcome goes out of me and then questions on identity set in.”
“Jesus, I pray for Your joy and strength to fill the emptiness of my soul. I want to see the cross and the holes in the palms of Your Hands to make me remember how much you love me. Embrace me tonight. Remove the clouds from the sky so I can see the moon and the stars. God, if it takes forever for me to learn Your ways then I am willing to stay in my wilderness no matter how long it takes. I love you, Jesus…. wherever you are. Amen.”
Staying In My Wilderness - A Prayer
on Monday, January 26, 2009From Bethlehem's Manger To Calvary's Cross
on Thursday, December 18, 2008
I have finally found the star in Bethlehem directing me to a place that everybody is looking for. Some people may have followed different stars in their journey and ended up finding earthly treasures placed in golden chests, which gave temporary elation to their very soul. However, as for me the star which I chose to follow, led me to the manger where a newborn Baby was lying so comfortably with nothing but a club of animals rejoicing with this glorious sight.
In my last year’s blog entry (Bethlehem’s Star and the Lost King – December 2007), I wrote there that my only wish for 2008 was to experience my Jesus like I had never experienced Him before. True enough, my journey’s highlight for this year was when I met my Jesus AGAIN in a very unexpected place - - - THE MANGER. From afar, the star was shining so brightly down to that manger, it was dark outside yet THAT STAR gave me so much hope amidst the vastness of that strange place. You see, I was a traveler, a lost king whose sovereignty only extended within the realms of my cognition and personal space. I was nothing, my identity then belonged to nobody, and I was just an inhabitant of this dreary world who never got to appreciate the best of everything. Looking at that bright star, my anxieties of not finding something at the end of my journey (while other people had already found their earthly treasures) was very apparent. The darkness instilled so much fear in me thinking that any moment a starving predator could come up before me and gang up on me for a gastronomical feast. This fear did not last for the star gave me direction towards a sure place somewhere in the dark. It was very strange that despite the darkness and uncertainties around that deserted place, peace was strongly felt. Unlike the evolution of fear, mankind during the prehistoric years was afraid of the dark because they were the popular preys of creatures lurking around unfamiliar places. What I experienced though was pure peace amidst that darkness. Jesus was born not during a sunny day but He was introduced to this world where darkness was all around the sky. This awesome truth speaks of God’s AMAZING GRACE that He came to give us hope in this weary world. The manger speaks of emptiness, poverty, grief, and failed accomplishments but Baby Jesus on that night gave real light and freedom from these bondages. I was a witness of His birth, His self-sufficient light, and His comforting and glorious presence. I experienced Him. I saw His face. I stayed in that manger for a long time to recuperate from my brokenness and despair. All my life as a traveler, I never understood the purpose of my journey for everything I saw and experienced was temporary. Nothing could give me meaning until that night in Bethlehem. Baby Jesus’ giggles, every time I look at His face, gave me an assurance that despite the dirt on my face He appreciates me. His presence made me realise that my purpose in life is to tell everyone about my encounter with Him so that they, too, can experience REAL JOY that only comes from Him. I may have not found the earthly treasures just like what others found in their journeys, but my true treasures are with Jesus and I know that right at this very moment He is preparing a place for me in Heaven. When the time comes that I will meet Him face to face, He will show me my real treasures in the place He has prepared for me.
Just before my attempt to carry Baby Jesus, the noise on this earth has awakened me. Everything was just a dream, but I knew that I was transported to Bethlehem to rekindle the faith that I once had before I got enticed by this glittering world. I woke up with an unexplainable joy and peace in my heart and reckoned that I was really there in Bethlehem. If only t
he people of this planet could fathom God’s love then we can all experience how it is to be saved by His grace. It is just too sad to look at this world filled with emptiness and greed; God gave His son Jesus to give light and purpose to each of us but mankind has resorted to their own wicked ways and because of this Jesus’ death on the cross was inevitable. From Bethlehem’s manger, we all have crucified Christ in Calvary. He could have opted not to be crucified, Jesus could have used His powers not to suffer from the hands of the people He created but because of His pure love He thought of YOU and ME in every step He made towards death. Every time I look at the cross, I see His love and His amazing grace. What about you? Are you still crucifying Him with how you’ve been living your life? I was a witness of His birth and His light yet I crucified Him. Every blood that dropped from His broken body reminds me of how precious my life was/is to Him that He took the place for me and He thought of me above all things. From Bethlehem’s Manger to Calvary’s Cross, both places signify my salvation and freedom, I pray that all of you who’s reading this blog entry will have a new perspective of who Jesus is in your life. Merry Christmas to all of you!
Are You God's Pituitary
on Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Even at a very young age I knew I was very competitive, always wanting to be the first in the class ---- **clears throat** only because I was always first in the line during flag ceremonies, class pictures and all those VERY discriminating activities that would require the class to fall in line. Ok, Ok I was….. or should I say I am a midget! **eyeballs rolling - right foot tapping** . You see, I grew up to be the 3rd shortest (I had always been one of the runners-up) among our class, which is why I despised my genes. It’s as if when God poured out His perfect genetic design for my clan, my mouth and my legs were widely open to embrace the dominant trait of dwarfism. Here’s the thing, one can never change a genetic composition, it’s the blueprint of our humanity. Genes are predefined so we can’t alter them just as we Christians are predestined by God according to His will (Eph 1:11). So I am now forced to love my height and be happy about it, awwww! Physiologically speaking, our brain still contributes growth during our childhood years until one reaches early adulthood. Consequently, I was a bit pacified by that fact and was compelled to believe that I could still grow a couple of inches more (I was only 4’11 during my elementary and early high school years --- is there a prize for being too honest?! nuni-nuni-nu) post my childhood years (by the way I’m now 5’8…. Oh c’mon Dennie I thought you’ve been released from your bondages?! ---- Ok, Ok I’m only 5’6 **sighs heavily**). I remember during my Biology class back in high school, there was one gland in our body that spiked my attention - - - the PITUITARY GLAND. You know why, because until now I have never stopped admiring this vital gland in our body situated at the bottom of the hypothalamus at the base of the brain only because it’s just about a size of a PEA….. Yup, you read it right, it’s as tiny as a pea yet is a very crucial gland. What perplexes me even more is that this pea-sized gland is necessary for GROWTH!!! weird – huh!! Yes, folks, this gland produces all of our growth hormones including Somatotropin, which is one of the most active growth hormones during our growing years. This paradoxical truth in human physiology can strongly be related to how God values us as individuals regardless of our limitations. No matter how tiny and insignificant our lives may seem, God will use us if we live our lives according to His purpose. Despite the pituitary gland’s minute structure, inside it are overflowing hormones that promote growth, and not to mention its role in controlling the functions of almost all other endocrine glands in the body. In the same way, God looks at what is inside of us and not our stature, profession, skills nor our influences. We can all be like the psalmist David, who despite his stature God saw the purity in his spirit and became one of the most influential Bible characters that we’ve ever known. My heart is overflowing with joy because I know that day by day God is increasing my faith, I used my miserable past to compare what it is like to be truly intoxicated by His love and grace. Yes, I am an insignificant person to some people but in the deepest recesses of my hypothalamus, I know that God’s purpose for me is to become great and He will gradually increase my territory. I want to be His Pituitary that despite my limitations in the natural I will be supernaturally lifted up way beyond ALL impossibilities….
So I encourage everyone to see yourselves the way God sees you. Let’s not stagnate our growth only because of natural limitations for God looks at the heart and our desire to be used by Him. I speak of growth to everyone who reads this journal for God will use you as His pituitary.
“Until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the
Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of
Christ. Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves
and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and
craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in
love, we will in all things grow up into Him who is the Head, that is, Christ"
Ephesians 4:13-15
The Science Of Christian Faith
on Thursday, August 28, 2008
Pardon for being “geeky” today, but allow me to freeze your mind as you flaccidly subject yourselves to a scientific journey towards the universe…. 1……..2………3…….. Troposphere…… Stratosphere…… you are now on top of the Ozone…… a little higher and you are just above Mesosphere and Ionosphere…. Then Voila! You see everything hovering up in the air and as you look down the Earth it looks just as big as the palms of your hand…. At this point you are starting to realise that God is soooo powerful… holding the entire universe by His own hands… But hey, wait-a-sec, don’t cry just as yet (freeze up your tears, will you?!) for our journey doesn’t end here, I still want you to see the Earth’s position around the mighty Sun………. this is my journal for this week.
Just imagine that our shuttle is situated a million miles away from the Earth and the Sun, from our point you’ll see that the Earth is relatively near 
the Sun as it revolves around an eccentric and stationary orbit. It is through this orbit that determines the Earth’s proximity to the mighty Sun, this also explains why we sometimes have longer nights and shorter days. APHELION, as I remember it, is the point in the orbit where the earth is furthest to the Sun that is why we have longer nights and PERIHELION is …. You guessed it right! The opposite (earth is closest to the Sun). Regardless of the earth’s spatial disposition, the mighty Sun remains STEADFAST to live up to it’s purpose ……. TO BE THE CENTRE OF THE UNIVERSE AND TO GIVE LIGHT TO THE HEAVENLY BODIES. The planets are free to move around the stationary Sun without disrupting its astronomical Sun-ness (for a lack of a better word) because the Sun was created to be self sufficient.
In the same way, in our running away from God, darkness will lure our own planet and the Sun (Jesus) becomes invisible. The longer the darkness stays the longer we desire for warmth. Too many times we tried to hide from God but we always failed because even in our darkest nights He still gives us the moon and the stars to shine our paths. I don’t know what or who your moon and stars are but one thing is certain, despite our wandering away from God, He knows that we can never be sufficient but He will allow us to see His grace shining so brightly above our dark skies. Just as the planets are free to move around a very stable and mighty Sun, our free will sometimes pulls us away from our source of light. However, God is too omniscient to know that even if we escape from His Lordship the universe will conspire to bring us closer and closer to Him who has been there all along like that mighty Sun.
It has been a long evening for me, but the moon and the stars have made me realise how God can STILL make wonders even during my darkest nights. Far or near from the centre, I know that God remains steadfast and His grace will pull me back to His warmth and light………. Jesus is the light of this world and just as long as I am with Him I can do anything and I can be anywhere I want to be.
"When Jesus spoke again to the people, He said, “ I am the light of the
world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light
of life." John 8:12
