I had heard the news that a Saviour was born in a manger long before I could fathom the reason of my existence. I am a lost king, traveling from afar in search for that bright light giving illumination to a place they call Bethlehem; but unlike other kings, I do not have a kingdom to rule, my sovereignty only extends within the realms of my cognition and personal space. I am a king of myself - - ruling my own destiny, governing my own free will, treasuring my rusty throne and wagging my own sceptre – but all these mean nothing for a traveler in quest for that majestic Bethlehem Star.
As a young king, I was taught of the prophecy that a Saviour on Christmas day would bring forth hope to one’s troubled soul. It also said that the great kings would pursue this Bethlehem star to behold the Baby who was and is the source of hope and riches, the kind that this world could not possibly offer. While growing up, I was looking up at that star but could hardly seem to find the right way to my Messiah. So many roads have offered possible routes that would lead to that manger but just to find out that I had been misled by promises of temporary hope and happiness. As a sojourner of this quest, many people have robbed all my riches; the treasures that I had long been keeping since I was a child had slipped away from my hands. As a young king, I knew that the kings of this world would travel from east to north and from south to west bringing with them gold, incense, myrrh, and all the best things that their kingdom could possibly offer to this beautiful Saviour. But here I am, an empty handed king with no presents to give nor best to offer to my Messiah. I am too shy to even stare at that majestic light for my eyes are filled with dirt and my body is clothed with blood flowing down from the wounds that I myself have inflicted. I was a hopeful king when I got to know of this prophecy, and although I still believe that my beautiful Saviour is somewhere out there I don’t know if I will ever get to that right path towards the manger. The saddest part was that I heard the news and got to see the light from above but was never halfway towards my Saviour.
This year, I will go on searching for the road to Bethlehem and although I have been robbed several times, I will not cease to find the face of my beautiful Saviour…
This year, I want to experience my Jesus like I have never experienced Him before….
When life starts to lose it’s glory and you feel like you’re a vagrant on a path to life, every road you take only leads you to a maze of impossibilities. That one’s search for love, life and purpose seems to hover in the same distance where the heavenly bodies sit in grandeur. But out of the heart of this burdened soul, I shall once again endevour to find hope in these endless battles of love, life and ominous failure; and like an agitated river rushing through the banks to meet the sea, I shall keep my spirits high in my search for this distant happiness.
Ask a lonely man of what is happiness and he will give you a diary of painful events, this is because his heart only recognizes the scars of the past and not the possibilities of overcoming them. The bribes of this world have blinded the eyes of people searching for one true happiness; a stable job, a fat wallet, or even a wonderful set of friends who, just like the other lonely people, could not also give a dose of their own desolation. Then what is there to hope for when everything else in this abundant yet dreary world offers promises of an indescribable happiness?…….. I guess this is the same question I have… A lonely guy in search of simple happiness…. Simple yet probably way too impossible to have. The things I have in my hands seem to be not enough and so everyday I wish that if everything falls apart I would find that single soul who will stand by me and walk with me on this journey to happiness. Many times I have fallen apart but there was none to pick me up, no face to look up to, and no hands to give me comfort. I am so wounded, yet nothing and nobody could stop the bleeding. There were times when I knew I was close to embracing my heart’s desire but only to find out that it was just a reflection of my wants. Nevertheless, I will never stop hoping that someday, somehow love’s face will consume my ever hungry soul….
