They say than when God closes a door, He opens up the windows........ I guess that is an understatement when He closes something He grandiosely opens up the heavens for a shower of blessings. God may have ended my mother's journey but He has already begun planning ours and this is what I am so excited about. Although I must admit that it ain't easy to find closure after my mom's death, I know that my strength will soon surface as I face another milestone in my life.
Day by day God reveals Himself to me, providing me with alternatives on how to stand firm before a throng of unsainted angels who know nothing but to trap my ever friable spirit. Yes, I get trapped MOST of the time even until now, but His spirit never grows tired of chastising me showing me the things that will all the more make me want to be in His presence. I may not understand His faithfulness but I am forever grateful that He is my loving friend and father.
As I seemlessly integrate my spirit into another milestone, I keep my mom's memories alive in my heart and in my mind. I know that wherever I may be and whatever I will become there will always be someone up there who will rejoice with me if I experience triumph and will hear all my cries if I get wounded from a fight. I thank the Lord for my mom, for my dad, for my sisters, and above all for His spirit. Behold, a new Dennie!!
After my mom’s death, I have come to realise that the road I have traveled for decades now has led me to nowhere. I thought everything I owned and all decisions I made in the past would bring me to a more comfortable life, but I was darn wrong!! I was selfish…. And now I am starting to despise myself….. even trying to acquiesce with what the demon inside me has been telling me all these years, “dennie, you’re a person of low character; a rotten tomato; and everything you will do and plan to do will always be a major DEFEAT!”. Oh well, perhaps that is true… I deserve nothing but a million “pats on the shoulder” from contemporary zombies (living dead) welcoming their new member…. a member whose character is buried at the bottomless pit waiting for a colony of annelids to gather for a sumptuous meal.
Looking through my life’s journey, I have failed to acknowledge the people whom I have grown up with… my family, relatives and significant others. I was too stringent about navigating my life through my own means and discounting their presence, and then all I could see was light with no exact direction on how to get there. Long before I have recognized that I have taken them for granted, I have already destroyed a major piece of me and this piece is now thrown out to oblivion.
But now that God has summoned me to gear up and take the road yonder, I am ready to take another journey towards triumph and blessings. His gracious rod has revived me from slumber and I am gradually getting up to embrace my character’s resurrection. Although the human side of me will still be a roadblock, I will seek refuge from God should I face another defeat. I will not undervalue God’s ability to comprehend men’s earthly battles for I know that there are things that only He can fathom. The road yonder remains mysterious and nobody can tell from one’s point of view what it is like to be part of this light. All I know is that I will be traversing through majestic mountains with people whom I consider real and alive and I will value them deep in my heart as long as I live.
